


The Good Neighbor

by winstonlives



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Phil's also a tease, Twitter, but so is Phil, dan's a brat, dan's a tease, nosy phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winstonlives/pseuds/winstonlives
Summary: Phil's a nosy neighbor, Dan disaproves...kind of. Mostly they love to tease each other.





	The Good Neighbor

“Phil, could you hand me that last glass?” Dan places the last of the plates back in the cupboard, his back turned to the room, the dishwasher and Phil. “Phil…?”

He turns to find that Phil is actually not in the room anymore, nor is the glass. “Phil?” He walks out into the lounge. “Phil we’re almost done clearing up. What….” He stops at the first landing of the stair to see Phil, his ear pressed the base of the glass he had previously wanted to put away. “Phil, what the crap are you doing?” 

“Shhhh…” Phil says not looking at him, but with a glassy stare directly in front of him. 

“Phil what…?” Dan hears a shout from the hall. “Are you listening to an argument?” 

“Shut up!” Phil says waving his hand manically in Dan’s direction. 

“Do you really think that‘s ethical?” 

“Daniel, I swear to god, if you do not shut up….” Phil whisper-shouts, finally looking at him, taking the glass from his ear for a moment. 

Dan chuckles, “You’ll what?” 

Phil drops his hand with the glass to his side and looks back at Dan. “Just shut up for two minutes. It seems as though Caroline’s best friend has slept with Gary and Gary regrets it.” 

“Phil. you are begging for me to shame you right now for being a dirty little eavesdropper.” Phil rolls his eyes and puts the glass back to the door. Dan takes a few pictures then goes down to the bottom of the stairs to watch. 

Minutes pass and Phil’s eyes go wide, he looks down at Dan. “What? What’s happening?” Dan asks, Phil shakes his head and continues to listen. A moment later a gasp escapes, and his hand is flying to cover his mouth. “What?” Dan asks again and stands up. He leans in, closer to the door in hopes of hearing something. “Damnit, I can’t hear a fucking thing.” He whispers Phil waves him off. “What’s happening?” 

A door slams and Phil drops his hand, setting the glass on the little entryway table. “Wow.” He says and walks up the stairs shaking his head. Dan grabs the glass and follows him upstairs. 

“What? Goddamnit, what happened?” 

“I thought it was unethical,” Phil said, leaning back on the couch. “I would hate to bring you down to my level Danny.” 

“Really?” Dan says sitting next to Phil. “You’re not going to tell me?” 

“No, don’t think so,” Phil says looking down at his phone. 

“You’re the worst,” Dan says standing up. “You’re going to tell me.” 

“Nah mate, think not.” 

“I have photos,” Dan smirks, holding up his phone. Phil glances at it then back down to his own phone and types something out. A few heartbeats later and Dan gets a twitter notification. “Phil you are such a….”

“Such a what?” 

“Jerk.” 

“A jerk who has all the tea on the neighbors, and now you want it too.” Phil smirks, proud of himself for using the term ‘the tea’. Dan rolls his eyes. “Should have gotten your own glass if you wanted to know so bad.” 

“Fine, fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll just post the pics I just took. They’re some good ones.” 

“You apparently didn’t vote on my little survey I set up on twitter now, did you? I did what the people wanted.” 

“Uh-huh”, Dan said sending his own tweet. “So did I.” 

“Hey!” Phil said, looking at his phone. “What if the neighbors see that?”

“Well, they’ll know not to have their arguments out in the hallway.” Dan smirked, “Because Big Ears Lester will be listening in.” Dan said Phil glared at him over his glasses. “Now, what happened? Give me the gos.” 

“I’m not telling you anything.” Phil laughed. “Big Nose Howell.” 

“Huh?… That’s not normally the big appendage you talk about.” Dan said, putting his finger to his chin in mock contemplation. 

“Very funny,” Phil said, trying not to smile, but failing. “I could say the same thing.” 

“True. Your bum is bigger than your ears.” Dan said and burst out laughing at Phil’s reaction of annoyance. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Phil said, pouting. 

“Aw, come on Philly,” Dan said moving to straddle Phil’s lap. “Tell me what happened, and I will talk all about the other big appendage of yours.”

“Talk about it? To whom?” Phil smirked. “Do I need to change your name to Big Mouth Howell?” 

“Well…” Dan leaned forward, his cheek against Phil’s, and whispered, “you’ve never complained about my big mouth before, not when it has anything to do with your body parts.” He licked the shell of Phil’s ear, making him suck in a breath. “Tell me what happened in the hallway and I’ll put this big mouth to work, just the way you like.” He leaned back to see Phil’s eyes wide, his brows raised, and his cheeks flushed. 

Phil shook his head, “You are such a brat.” 

“You know you want to tell me..” Dan said, sneaking his fingertips under the hem of Phil’s shirt. He lifted it a little to tease, as he lightly brushed them over Phil’s sides. 

“You are…” 

“I’m what Philly?” Dan smirked, his one hand moving low to slip a finger under the waistband of his pants. 

“You’re a tease.” 

“Never bugged you before. In fact, I’m pretty sure you like it when I tease.” Dan said, leaning forward again, his lips a hairs length away from Phil’s. “All you have to do is tell me what happened and I’ll make you very happy.” 

“Fine,” Phil said, crossing his arms in front of himself, pretending to not be affected by Dan’s tease. “Apparently, Gary cheated with her best friend who turned out to just be using Gary, since she was pissed at Claudette for sleeping with her husband. Claudette insisted she did no such thing. And apparently, she was telling the truth because Claudette hates her best friend’s husband because he made a pass at her when they were dating.” 

“Wait who was dating?” Dan said holding up his hand. “Gary and Claudette are our neighbors?” 

“Yes, don’t you even know their names?” Phil said. 

“I’m not the one who met them,” Dan said. 

“Well anyway, so when Gary and Claudette were dating, her friend's husband hit on her one night, and since then she hasn’t liked him.”  
“So now Gary has actually slept with her friend? Because he thought Claudette had slept with the friend's husband?” 

“No,” Phil shook his head, “He just slept with her because he’s an ass. She slept with him to get back at her own husband.” 

“Jeez,” Dan said, shaking his head.

“So now the best friend feels bad because she thought Claudette had slept with her husband but found out it was a different friend, and she is pregnant!”

“Oh shit,” Dan said, covering his mouth. 

“Yeah, I know.” Phil nodded, “So now Gary is sorry because...well because he got caught really since the friend confessed because she felt guilty.” 

“Poor Claudette,” Dan said. “Her husband and her best friend… what is she going to do?” 

“Kick Gary out.” Phil smiled. “Gary is probably packing his bags right now since she said he wasn’t allowed to stay the night.” 

“Mm, good on her.” Dan nodded. “Be strong Claudia!” He shouted. 

“Claudette.” 

“Oh, well anyway, that is really shitty. I feel bad for her.” Dan said Phil nodded along with him. 

“Okay, so now you know.” Phil bumped his hips up, bouncing Dan a few times. “Show me how you use that big mouth.” 

___________

 

Dan pulled on his pants and handed Phil his own pair. “So maybe we should do something nice for Claudette.” 

“We’re not even supposed to know something is wrong,” Phil said, pulling his shirt back on. “If we do something nice, she’ll know we were listening.” 

“We?” 

“Yes, you may not have been listening, but you certainly wanted to know what was happening. Don’t act so innocent. You’re just as nosey as I am.” 

“Au contraire, mon frère,” Dan said crouching to look under the sofa for his other sock. “If you had not known, I would have been very happy to not know what happened to the neighbors.” 

“Please don’t use that saying...especially when we’ve just had sex.” Phil shook his head. “If you would have heard them arguing before me, you would have wanted to know too.” 

“I would not, I mean, I would not have gotten a glass.” 

“They did it in a common space, I had a right to know what was happening out there.” 

Dan rolled his eyes. “You’re just nosey. Admit it, I’m surprised you didn’t pull up a chair and made popcorn. You just love the drama.” 

“Well, then I’m with the right guy now aren’t I, Mr.Drama Queen.” Phil stuck out his tongue. 

“Oi!” Dan laughed. “Okay fine...you like drama, I like drama. Now that I said it, I want some popcorn.” 

“Mm, me too.” Phil nodded and stood up. 

“Good, be a dear and make some while I take care of somethings in the bathroom.” 

“Was going to say…” Phil smirked. “You love that too.” 

“Shut it Lester, or next time it will be you having to sort yourself out,” Dan said, wiggling a little as he walked away. 

Phil laughed, “Threats are supposed to be things that are unwanted, you know. You did it wrong.” 

“Fine. Next time it will be you, and I will make the popcorn.” 

“Is that a promise Big Mouth?” 

“Shut up!” Dan laughed as he disappeared up the stairs and closed the bedroom door.

**Author's Note:**

> A fun (funny/sexy) little scenario I thought up from the twitter exchange the other day. Meant to put this up yesterday, but forgot! So now it was more of a rush. Hope you like it! Lemme know if you did! Thanks guys!


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